| Mad TV - Antonia - Lowered Expectations |
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Antonia visits Lowered Expectations for the
second time!
NOTE: Antonia's cat is CeCe/C.C, etc. This
was proven in 'Antonia: Referee' where the it
can clearly be seen on the cat's
jersey/uniform.
Dialogue:
Announcer: For Antonia, # 435.
Antonia is sitting on the couch, clutching
her hands, not saying anything.
Lowered Expectations Worker: Ok, you can
start.
Antonia: Okee...
Lowered Expectations Worker: Haven't I seen
you before?
Antonia: Yess...
Lowered Expectations Worker: Did you get many
calls?
Antonia: Yess...
Lowered Expectations Worker: Then why are you
back??
Antonia: I don't know.
Lowered Expectations Worker: Are you looking
for a date, Antonia?
Antonia: Es possible.
Lowered Expectations Worker: You do know that
this is a dating service?
Antonia is silent, blinking her big eyes.
Lowered Expectations Worker: Would you like a
tall man?
Antonia: Okee...
Lowered Expectations Worker: You would have
said the same if i'd said "a short man"
wouldn't you?
Antonia: Yess...
Lowered Expectations Worker: Would you like a
rabbit to call you?
Antonia: Yess...
Lowered Expectations Worker: Would like a
date with a piece of lint from my pocket?
Antonia: Okee...
Short pause
Antonia: My cat's name is CeCe.
Announcer: For Antonia, press # 435.
Additional Keywords:
cece fifi c.c humour humor funny love lisp
antoniatimmens timmens swantonia bunifa
latifa halifa sharifa jackson debra wilson
vancome lady vancomelady nicole sullivan
nicolesullivan nicholesulivan nichole sulivan
cloret
Tags : loweredexpectations antonia madtv lowered expectations simmens funny hilarious stupid idiotic ms.swan miss swan bunny |
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Affichage : 56269
Durée : 53 s |
| Mad tv ms swan lowered expectations |
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Mad tv ms swan dont understand what lowered
expectetions is.
Camera guy:Chris hogan
Ms swan: Alex borstein
First Aired:12/6/1997
Announcer: Ms. Swan. Number 490.
Ms. Swan: (sits down) Okey, what you want me
to do?
Camera Guy: Just say what kind of man you're
looking for
Ms. Swan: 'kay. I tell you. I looking for a
man.
Camera Guy: Is that it?
Ms. Swan: Yeah. No, no.
Camera Guy: Okay, what kind of man?
Ms. Swan: Yeeeah, okey. A kind man, know what
mean, man?
Camera Guy: Is that all?
Ms. Swan: Yeah, no, no, I tell you. Very
important, 'kay. He...
Camera Guy: Hmmm?
Ms. Swan: Have to look Like-a-man.
Camera Guy: You wanna describe him?
Ms. Swan: Yeah, okey, yeah. I describe, you
describe.
Camera Guy: No, you describe.
Ms. Swan: Yeah, okay. You go ahead.
Camera Guy: Go ahead.
Ms. Swan: You go ahead.
Camera Guy: No, YOU go ahead!! And do it to
the camera.
Ms. Swan: Okay... (looks in camera) You go
ahead!
Announcer: For Ms. Swan, press pound 490.
Part II:
Announcer: Ms. Swan. Number 490.
Ms. Swan: (examining the couch) Okay, okay. I
have 200 dolla for couch. Final offer.
Camera Guy: No, I'm not selling the couch.
Just describe your ideal man.
Ms. Swan: Yeah, okay. I tell you. Hee...
should look-a-like-a-man.
Camera Guy: Just tell me what kind of man,
okay?
Ms. Swan: Yeah, okay, you know. A man-man,
you know, 'key?
Camera Guy: What kind of man?
Ms. Swan: Okay, you drive a hard bargain, 250
dolla for couch.
Camera Guy: Would you forget about the
couch?! Do you want a date or not?
Ms. Swan: Yeah, okey, I go out with you.
Camera Guy: No, that's not what I meant.
Ms. Swan: Yeah, you ask me out on date. I
say, okay, we go.
Camera Guy: No, I'm not going out with you. I
was just asking.
(Ms. Swan gets upset and cries)
Camera Guy: Oh, don't cry.
Ms. Swan: You don't want to go out with me?
Force me out on a date, now you say no! You
typical!
Camera Guy: No, look.
Ms. Swan: You a typical man, you do.
Camera Guy: Now look. Lady look. (comes out
from camera)
Ms. Swan: No! No good! You just like a man,
you take and you take and you take!
Camera Guy: Alright, I'll go out with you.
Ms. Swan: (cheers up) Okey.
Camera Guy: Okay.
Ms. Swan: Okay.
Camera Guy: F*ckin' job...
(start to walk out)
Ms. Swan: Wow, this is all so sudden. I can't
believe it.
Announcer: For Ms. Swan, press 490.
Part III:
Announcer: Ms. Swan. Number 490.
(Ms. Swan and Camera Guy on couch)
Camera Guy: (to Ms. Swan) I have a huge fear
of a commitment, you know? Sometimes, things
work, then sometimes they don't.
Ms. Swan: Yeah, okay.
Camera Guy: Alright (begins to walk back)
Ms. Swan: 'key. Loser.
Camera Guy: What?
Ms. Swan: Nothing.
Camera Guy: Now why don't you describe the
kind of man that you want.
Ms. Swan: Yeah, okey. I tell you. I tell you
what kind of man I want. I want- have to be a
real man, you know? Not some jerk likea jerk
boy over here.
Camera Guy: Alright!
Ms. Swan: Have to be sweet, you know, not go
all day, and make you pay for eve'yting! No.
And makea loud noises when you eat. Mwwa Mwwa
Mwwa. You can't eat like this, no. And not
ta, ta take you and not even go to the movie,
you know! And the date end by 9 'o clock.
Camera Guy: Okay.
Ms. Swan: And make you take the bus home!
Camera Guy: Okay, that's enough!
Ms. Swan: I want a man who act like a man,
okay, you know, lookalikeaman!
Camera Guy: Alright, thank you, that's good.
Ms. Swan: Man- I want a man who have a REAL
job, not like this Bozo over here, okay. You
call me, okay. (smiles)
Announcer: For Ms. Swan, press pound 490.
Tags : mad tv alex borstein sketch Chris hogan |
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Affichage : 2235
Durée : 248 s |
| MADtv - Lowered Expectations: Doreen & Stuart |
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Airing Station - Fox
Airing Date - November 7, 1998
Episode - #407
Cast -
Michael McDonald - Stuart Larkin
Mo Collins - Doreen Larkin
(Doreen)
Talk right into the camera? Okay? Well,
hello, I'm Doreen Larkin, and I just want to
say right off the bat that I'm not looking
for a husband so much as...more of a father
figure for my son, Stuart. Well, sit up,
Stuart.
(Stuart)
Don't!
(Doreen)
Sit up!
(Stuart)
Don't!
(Doreen)
Oh. My husband left us on Tuesday and when
you're as gifted as Stuart you need a
constant male influence and as... Stuart,
where did you get those chips? Where did you
get those chips?
(Stuart)
I found 'em on the floor.
(Doreen)
Oh, well you give me those right now. Stuart,
you give mama those chips!
(Stuart)
No, I want them. No, don't!
(Doreen)
Oh, such an appetite, oh. Well, what do you
expect with such a growing boy. He's my boy,
my big boy. The doctors can't really say how
big he's going to get. Oh, look at him, he's
so active! We're looking for someone who'd
maybe like to wrestle, in a pool. Isn't that
right, Stuart.
(Stuart)
Don't!
(Doreen)
Well, isn't it?
(Stuart)
Don't!
(Doreen)
Now, don't get all cranky on me. Why don't
you tell them what you're looking for in a
daddy?
(Stuart)
I don't want to say.
(Doreen)
Well, go on and say it.
(Stuart)
I don't wanna say!
(Doreen)
Stuart, don't be shy, now tell them! This is
your chance to be on television, now tell
them!
(Stuart)
Look what I can do!
(Doreen)
Oh, isn't he adorable? There he is, my boy.
(Stuart)
Hi! I'm on TV.
(Doreen)
Oooh. Such a handsome boy. Smile pretty for
the camera!
For Doreen and Stuart, press #962
Lowered Expectations
Tags : MADtv Lowered Expectations: Doreen Stuart |
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Affichage : 5180
Durée : 149 s |
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